School is going great and meeting new friends have been awesome! Being involved with the BSU and helping out and being involved with different things they have going on like the nursing home ministry, girls bible study, and chapel and so on is great. I love it! I feel like I have already found another church family except its full of young adults! Also, being a trailblazer has been an amazing experience so far, and being involved with that is a great way to meet more people on campus!
MeMe had knee surgery Friday and now is back home doing great! Please continue to pray for her as she recovers. I know she can get through because she is a strong woman.
Lately though, even with these amazing new experiences going on and amazing things happening in my life and new opportunities to serve God, I feel more down than ever. I feel more depressed, or sad. I'm the type of person that is just happy-go-lucky all the time and just always have a smile on my face, but when I'm sad, people automatically notice. And it stinks because people always ask me what's wrong when I'm trying to hide it. Don't get me wrong, I love people being there for me and them showing me love and that they care, but I don't want people to know I'm upset. I want to be happy all the time. I want to show love and happiness all the time, and I feel like I ruin things when I'm upset. Why? I have no idea.
I'm find out out so many things that I wish I would have never found out. And it's bringing me down more and more everyday because it just builds and builds. Maybe the devil is attacking me? Maybe God is testing me? Maybe I'm not doing something I'm supposed to be doing? I have no idea. I just wish I didn't feel this way. I want to be happy everyday like I use to be. Not upset or mad at the world like I have been the last couple of weeks. I don't like this attitude I have.
Please be in prayer for me as I begin a new week of school.
Show Love, Be Love.
-Tonya :)
Some pics :
Trailblazers!
The best roomie ever. She is always there for me.
